User Submission- “Concert Diss”
The Next Beatle from anonymous
What was done to me?
I was probably 12 years old. I had been learning the guitar on my own. I had a Learn the Guitar record and had it on the Sear’s record player in my room. I didn’t want to go ‘public’ until I thought I was pretty good. I had the basic 4 or so chords down pretty well for a beginner and started learning Puff the Magic Dragon (this was a few years before Smoke on the Waters). When I thought that it was time, OK I’ll admit it, with visions of being another Beatle going through my head, I went to play for my parents. I don’t remember exactly what their reaction was, but it was less than encouraging. There was some chuckling under their breath, but not officially mocking, or dismissal– at least not directly– mainly there just was silence. What was noticeable to my insecure little heart was the absence of what I needed. There was no excitement, no encouragement, no ‘you’ve got some natural talent!’, no ‘let’s call our friends!’. All of my insecurities flared–and there were a lot. What was done to me?
If I had to choose from the list of what was done to me, it would be a withholding of honor. It would’t have cost the folks much to act excited at my attempts at playing the guitar.
What was taken from me?
It sounds so petty. I am not talking about being sexually molested here. But I grew up with lots of insecurities about public speaking and performance, even about achieving success. Someone might say, ‘Get over it. Move on with your life, Bub!’ I have. I am not in depression over this. I am a successful person in my field. I even kept up with the guitar–wrote some songs (one I sold to a band). I play as part of a church worship team. But I know that I play with loads of insecurities. I was even asked to try out to be a part of a neighborhood band. I just couldn’t. I wonder what might have been different if my parents had just given me the honor that was really due a child? What was taken? Maybe it was the freedom to be expressive.
How much was this worth?
Wow. This is hard. What is the loss revenue of the fifth Beatle? Just kidding. I will say that to me the value has to be in the millions. I lost many opportunities to be expressive, creative, bold in public. Honestly, I would love my folks to just admit it to me. But to tell the truth, they don’t even remember the event at all. That is the way this works a lot. The victim is the one who carries the memory of the event. It just wasn’t a big deal at all to my parents. I need to forgive. You are right when you describe this as a lingering debt that I just can’t get rid of. It would be great to have the debt finally paid. It is sad to think how my life might have been different.
anonymous