“We have to forgive. We have to forgive him in order for God to forgive us.”

So said an anonymous Amish woman shortly after the tragic shooting in Paradise Township. This is heroic and humble—but horribly wrongheaded obedience. Gentle woman, even God Himself doesn’t forgive apart from complete payment for crimes. The Cross represents Jesus’ total and complete payment for all crimes before God will forgive any. The only forgiveness that the Biblical God knows is forgiveness that is subsequent to perfect justice accomplished. Why would God ask you to be more magnanimous than Him? Forgiveness requires justice with honor.

There is way too much “I forgive you” out there. Half are insincere and just want to avoid further conflict. The other half is actually a very destructive form of self-abuse, under the guise of being a ‘good person’. Please stop it! Forgiveness, real forgiveness requires significant effort. You must determine what was done– what was taken– what that is really worth to you. Then there must be real ‘consolation’. Consolation, per Tolkien is what happens at the end of a fairy tale so that everyone could actually live happily ever after. Are you still angry? You really should be mad– someone indifferently took something from you. Afraid? Depressed? Marginalized? Then you really haven’t forgiven anyway. Victims– stop forgiving. Get restored. Regain the honor and identity that was stolen. Yeah?